Lawyer jokes
1 | Page 2 | 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
Next lawyer jokes »
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his
tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that
such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men
were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here
lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the
tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"
A local United Way office realized that it had never
received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person
in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000,
you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the
community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and
replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying
after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her
annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um...no."
"-or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a
wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an
apology but was interrupted, "-or that my sister's husband died in a
traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving
her penniless with three children?" The humiliated United Way rep,
completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the
lawyer cut him off once again: "-so if I don't give any money to them,
why should I give any to you?"
Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek?
Nobody will look for them.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a
trampoline?
You should take your workboots off before
you jump on a trampoline.
What is the proper weight for a lawyer?
About 3 pounds, .......not counting the urn!
Next lawyer jokes »
