"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to her lawyer, after he had solved her legal troubles.
"My dear woman," lawyer replied,
"Ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that easy question."
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.